Rugrats: The Rem Tlamid Saga
by MobileSuitSonic
Summary: An alien explorer known as Rem Tlamid lands on Earth to study the newly discovered world. She disguises herself as a toddler and soon befriends Tommy and company.
1. Chapter 1

**_EPISODE 1:_** _**REM LANDS ON THE PLANET**_

* * *

**SETTING:**

_The night before the events of "Tommy Pickles and the Great White Thing"._

* * *

A chrome manta-like spacecraft left hyperspace. Ahead of it was a silvery moon that orbited a blue planet.

Within the vehicle, there was a catlike girl with green hair: Rem Tlamid. She stood about two feet high and stared out at the small blue sphere. "So that's the planet the elders called Xiemdioru?"

_"Yes, Mistress Tlamid,"_ said the ship's computer. _"The coordinates are precise."_

"Excellent," the girl replied. "Find us a place to land, _Riuo_." She leaned back in her chair to relax.

_"Mistress, my sensors are detecting life signals from the surface."_

This announcement made Rem's ears perk up. Things were living on Xiemdioru, just as the people back on the _Galaxian_ speculated. She leaned forward "_Riuo_, do you detect any cities or technology?"

_"Yes, ma'am."_

"Take us down. Stay away from any settlements, but not too far."

So much for a simple expedition! If anything, this mission could very well prove that her race, the Tomino, were not the only intelligent species in the universe.

* * *

The _Riuo_ flew over a small city with the cloaking device enabled.

The craft touched down outside the town; four legs extended as it neared the ground. The gangplank was lowered from beneath.

A moment later, Rem left the shuttle. "The instruments weren't kidding," said Rem. "The atmosphere on this planet is just like Davetat's."

Rem wandered around in the woods with a flashlight. If not to walk off the stiffness from the flight to the planet, then just to look around. Eventually she reached a sign.

Xiemdioru apparently used the same alphabet that the Tomino used. The sign read:

KLASKYVILLE

A Haven of Friendship

Population: 22,759

Rem tried to read it out. "'Kl…Klah… Sss... Skee-yuh… Veel… Lay. Ah ha-vin… off… fff…frai-ayn… dzh…' Ugh! I can barely read this stuff!" She really tried to read it, but failed. The way the aliens spelled things really threw her off. "Whatever this place is called," said she "I'll have to probe the area for info before I can do much more."

She ran back to the shuttle and called from the foot of the gangplank: "_Riuo_! Can you launch a probe?"

_"Yes, Mistress Tlamid!"_

A small Frisbee-like robot came out of the ship and hovered in front of Rem.

"Scan the area, I want some intel on the natives," she ordered. If she wanted to get close to the aliens, she'd need to look like one.

The disc flew away, making its way toward the town.

"You can shut down for the night, _Riuo_," said Rem. "We've both earned a little down time."

As the lights in the _Riuo _dimmed out, Rem took a small remote out of her pocket and pressed its sole button. A door appeared right in front of her and she walked right through it.

* * *

Outside a certain home, the probe hovered in front of window. A play of some kind was being shown on a strange box. It involved a guy with a red shirt and a few other people doing something that the Tomino weren't familiar with. It was being watched by what seemed to be a little Xiemdioru child with golden hair done in pig tails and purple clothes. A girl, perhaps?

The saucer was able to pick up what was going on through the glass, giving equal focus to the child and the box.

_The man in the box spoke:_ _"With all due respect to candidate number one and candidate number two and candidate number three… my deciding vote goes to… candidate number four!"_

_ These three candidates turned out to be three women. They were surprised by the announcement. "Four!?"_

_This well-dressed older man protested: "But there were only THREE candidates! Not four, you fool!"_

_ Another, heavier man spoke up as well: "What are talking about Gilligan?"_

_ "I had my own candidate," the man in the red shirt responded._

_ Soon, the guy revealed "candidate number four" to the shock of everyone: a gorilla!_

This turn events had the child rolling with laughter. "Oh, that Gilligan's so awesome!"

The robot having recorded what it needed, started to hover away it grazed the window.

"Did you hear something, Cynthia?" the little girl asked a strange doll with a bizarre hairdo.

The doll never responded.

The child shrugged. "Neither did I!"

* * *

**CONTINUED**


	2. Chapter 2

_**EPISODE**** 2:**** A BRAVE BABY: MY NAME IS TOMMY!**_

* * *

**SETTING:**

_The same day as "Tommy Pickles and the Great White Thing"_

* * *

In the woods outside of Klaskyville was a door. It had no walls or frame, yet it went somewhere.

The door led to an artificial pocket dimension assigned to Rem by the Tomino high command. The purpose of this place was to serve as an off-world shelter for expeditions. It was as big as a penthouse suite and even came with the homely amenities that the Tomino had come to expect, save for windows.

Rem, meanwhile, was sleeping on a little mat in the corner of the main room.

In time, she started to stir and finally sit up. She let out a big yawn. She could make out her own robot assistant 9-Myr-6 coming up from the left.

"Good Morning, Mistress Tlamid," said a voice.

Rem turned aside to see a tall, bipedal robot standing behind her. "Hey, Myr," she said, still a bit groggy "You wouldn't happen to know what time it is here?"

"According to the systems, it is seven minutes after 1100 hours," the robot answered.

"Still morning… barely," said Rem. She crawled from under the covers on all fours and stretched out her legs and spine. She had on a muscle shirt and baggy pants. "Has the probe returned?"

"Negative," the robot replied.

_Vvvrt! Vvvrt! Vvvrt! Vvvrt!_

"Mistress, the GPO alert is buzzing," Myr stated.

Rem chuckled. "I'll bet it's Commander Obihao," she said in a snarky tone "He has no timing at all. I'd better dress before be blows his stack."

In the next room were three jumbotrons, one for each wall. Stepping in, Rem pressed the bright green button beside the door.

On the center monitor, right after this button was pressed, green letters spelling out "STAAT FIID" began to blink in the upper right-hand corner; static covered the screen.

The snow abruptly ended when a being in a uniform appeared on the monitor. He was very hairy from the neck up: neck-length locks, sideburns that merged with his mustache, and a Van Dyke on his chin.

Rem stuck her right fist outward and brought it back to her chest. "Sergeant Rem Tlamid reporting, Commander. Forgive the delay."

_"At ease, Sergeant,"_ said the creature. _"Tell me the status of Operation Tiokiotel."_

"I landed on Xiemdioru," Rem explained. "I can confirm our hypothesis regarding the planet being able to support life. The atmosphere is almost exactly like Davetat's."

_"That is excellent,"_ the commander said in a contented tone.

"One more thing," Rem explained. "Life exists on this planet as well. We're not just talking animals, I mean _intelligent_ beings."

Obihao's eyes widened. _"Do you know anything about them?"_

"Very little," Rem replied. "I can confirm that they have discovered electricity and they use the same alphabet that we use. However, their language seems to be a bit different. I am currently on the outside of a settlement known as 'Klosskiaveelay'. The night before last, before going to sleep, I sent out a probe to retrieve data on the aliens living in the settlement."

_"Has it returned?"_

"Not yet."

_"You're doing great," _said Obihao. _"We'll contact you within one week's time for an update. Thank you."_

Rem nodded. "Over and out."

The screen went back to static. "END FIID" blinked in the corner before the monitor turned off.

Stepping out of the screen room, Rem found Myr waiting for her. "No new orders thus far," said Rem.

"Mistress Rem," Myr reported "The probe came back during your debriefing."

"Good," said Rem. Now that it returned, the time came for her to study its footage.

* * *

Little Tommy Pickles pushed the door in front of him open. It was the door the room where he took his baths. He looked around to find Grandpa Lou in there wiping his hands on a small towel. The baby didn't know what he was going exactly; when was looking under the bottom of the door before opening it.

Then, he saw it.

It looked like some kind of white chair that was bolted to the floor. He crawled over toward the object; it was really shiny and it was making this rumbling sound. The noise didn't scare him. If anything, he wanted to know what it was.

Hesitating a little, he reached out to touch it when somebody's hands grabbed him.

"Hold on there, little fella!" said Lou. "This is no place for you!"

The old man carried the baby out of the bathroom and downstairs.

Tommy's parents, Stu and Didi, were busy talking to a pair of guests in the kitchen. Lou had no knowledge about the conversation's subject, though; it wasn't any of his business. "Stu, I found your boy about to go sage belly in the water closet!" he said as he passed the four.

"Oh, thanks Pop," Stu replied. "Just set Tommy down with Phil and Lil."

Leaving the kitchen, Lou entered the den. A semicircular playpen was erected around sliding glass doors. Two other babies, identical twins of both genders, were in there playing; they were dressed similarly, though the girl wore a pink bow in her hair.

These twins, Phillip and Lillian Deville, were the children of the Pickles' next door neighbors. Usually, if their parents were busy, they'd leave the two with Stu and Didi. Tommy got to play with them a lot.

Soon, Lou started to walk away. The babies watched and waited. In seconds, Lou was out of the room.

"Hey, guess what just happened," said Tommy "I heard this noise from Grampa's stinking room, so I snuck in there, and you know what I saw?"

"What?" Phil and Lil asked in unison.

"There's this big, white thing in there!"

"What is it?" said the twins, once more simultaneously.

"I dunno," Tommy answered "but it burped at me."

"Oh, is that the thing I saw our dog drinkin' out of?" asked Phil "I thought it was a big water dish!"

"I dunno," said Tommy.

"I think it's a fish bowl!" said Lil.

Her brother didn't believe it. "A fish bowl? There's no fish in that thing, Lillian!"

"Well I saw somethin' swimmin' in there, Phillip!" Lil shot back.

The two of them locked eyes. It was far from the first time the two bickered and Tommy knew it would be far from the last.

"I think it's _alive_," said Tommy.

Tommy's theory prevented the argument from getting hairy; rather than Phil and Lil gazing at one another in rage, they looked at Tommy with a mix of wonder and shock.

"Like a person!" Tommy added. "Maybe when it was burping, it was trying to talk to me! Tonight, I'm going back in there!"

If anything could be said about Tommy, it was that he was bold. If he made up his mind about something, one would be hard-pressed to discourage him.

Whatever that white thing was, he was hell-bent on solving the mystery behind it.

* * *

Rem had on what appeared to be an over-sized diving suit with a collar. On the collar was a button; when it was pushed, the suit became skin-tight. The only parts of Rem left uncovered were her head and tail.

Myr's servos whirred softly as he neared the young Tomina. "Mistress Tlamid, are you certain about this?"

"It's a risk I'm going to have to take," she admitted. "I want to see this settlement up close. I'm going to investigate it myself."

"Didn't you get enough information from the probe's databank?" asked Myr.

Rem sighed. "Yeah. Got a little mundane after a while, though. I sort of wish the probe could eke out a little more than a minute of video though. Cycling through the stills wasn't cutting it for me."

"Are you saying you were bored?" said Myr.

"Not exactly," Rem replied. "The crowning moment was that one alien with the gold hair laughing at those little people trapped in a box." Rem snapped on a smoky-grey belt with some pouches on it. "Kinda surprised that the natives on this world look so much like us," she continued "but that one _spoke_ our language."

"Fascinating," Myr dryly replied. "But don't you think your presence among the natives could endanger the mission? Especially without a disguise."

Finally, Rem donned a small visor. "Don't worry," said the Tomina. "Their chances of seeing me are slim and none. The recon operation begins at dusk."


	3. Chapter 3: Rem's Nighttime Espiona

**_EPISODE 3:_** **_Rem's Nighttime Espionage Operation _**

* * *

**SETTING:**

_The same night as "Tommy Pickles and the Great White Thing"._

* * *

For Rem, it felt great to be away from camp. Most her time on "Xiemdioru" involved practicing melee techniques or just waiting around for that probe to return. Running around with air flowing through her hair was what she felt she was made for. In fact, she was always at the top of her class in Physical Education.

Maybe that was the reason the brass picked her for this "research mission". Rem was okay in regard to the sciences, but athletic stuff was where she shined.

Guess the High Command figured that they shouldn't go with somebody who could give a twenty-minute lecture on the life cycle of the slicer bug… despite the fact that she could do a somewhat decent job on that subject if given the chance.

Even as she carried out her covert operation, Rem began to learn more. The aliens, she could see, used these vehicles similar to landers in order to travel considerable distances. The main difference was that landers used antigravity repulsors in place of wheels.

Nevertheless, she kept the shadows and the rooftops.

Soon, Rem came to a neighborhood. It was right on the corner of the street. Gold numbers reading "1258" were visible on this strange metal box in front of the place. _An alien home, maybe? _Rem asked herself. She had a good run so far, why not take a peek inside this house? One of the rooms upstairs was lit. But how would she get up?

She noticed part of the house wasn't as big as the rest of it and it extended away from the rest of the building. It was left open, allowing her to see one of those ground-based vehicles she kept seeing that night. It seemed as if everyone on the planet had one of them.

_I'm guessing that might be a garage for those machines,_ she thought. It didn't matter much, though. She had a way up there.

Rem crouched a little bit and soon sprung up, taking to the air for a few seconds. She landed on the garage's roof.

Next, she drew out her claws and climbed the side of the house bare-handed.

She peeked in to make sure nobody was there. The room had a lot of porcelain objects and a tile floor; its walls were lavender. What was it used for?

The door to the room opened. Someone was coming; time to get out of the way.

Rem had no intention of leaving. If she was careful, she could figure out what the room was for.

* * *

Tommy could see the big white object right in front of him. Grandpa Lou wasn't there like he was in the morning, now he could figure out what that thing was. He toddled up to the chair-like object. Standing on his feet, he couldn't even see the top of the ridge that jutted outward.

Was it even a chair?

Could it talk?

Tommy knocked on the white thing. "Is anybody home?" he asked sheepishly.

No answer.

Then, something shiny caught his eye: near the top was some kind of handle. Maybe that could get the thing to talk to him.

But how would he reach it?

Soon, the little boy found a weird stick with a rubbery, pink thing at the bottom. He'd use that to get up there!

* * *

From right outside, Rem watched as this young creature scaled this strange stick to reach the seat of the white chair. It was small, bald, wore an orange shirt, and had some outlandish-looking pants on that had no legs. Using that stick to climb up was, to her, a pretty resourceful move.

She saw that there was a hole in the middle of the seat. When the alien leapt from the stick, it straddled the hole. It saw something in the hole; whatever it was freaked him out and he began to lose balance.

It grabbed onto this silvery object on the chair, which caused a rumbling sound.

It began to trip up again, this time pulling these purple cloths down. The cloths went in the hole.

Next, it landed on a mounted roll of paper. It wasn't firm enough for the creature to stand on and a lot rolled out as it uncontrollably ran on it.

Soon, the alien grabbed the weird stick again, which tilted around wildly!

_I have no idea what's going on, _Rem thought, _but the people on this planet don't seem to be as coordinated as us._

The events inside the room got more chaotic; Rem couldn't even describe it! The alien was struggling to reach this raised platform with a silver spigot and knobs, turning on the water as he fought to get over there. It managed make water come out of the spigot before the stick shifted back toward the white chair (which was now clogged up and flooding thanks to those cloths that fell in). When it came back up, its head was covered in that weird paper.

It managed to latch onto the platform, but squeezed this tube that was sitting on a glass shelf just above the platform so hard that its cap shot off like a rocket; the sticky, pink contents within the tube sprayed everywhere! The cap ricocheted and hit a small container on the same shelf; the container fell into the flooded platform, causing a swath of bubbles.

The creature was dangling from the platform for dear life. It was hard for Rem to intervene without jeopardizing the mission.

Then a creature Rem had never seen before came into room. It walked on all fours, had long ears and a tail, and began sniffing around in the mess the alien made. Soon, the creature in question fell onto the animal's back; it looked as if the alien was riding it. As they turned toward the window, Rem ducked.

She'd seen enough.

"What the heck happened in there?" Rem whispered.

She wasn't going to stick around. That was a big enough show for her.

She couldn't report any of this to Obihao or her other superiors. She didn't know how to relay it to them; it was just madness.

* * *

Tommy rode Spike downstairs to the den, carrying the weird stick that nearly got him killed. The room was only illuminated by the TV.

It was playing a fishing show: Grandpa Lou's favorite thing to watch. Sure enough, he was there. Spike sat down to the right side of the old man; Tommy to the right of Spike.

Soon, the TV cut to a commercial. A rather creepy-looking girl stood behind a counter, gushing about the Squeaky Chicken fast food joint.

"Well, nature beckons," Lou uttered. With this strange advert playing, he decided it was a good time to be indisposed.

For whatever reason, he went to the bathroom upstairs.

Not that it mattered to Tommy; he wasn't impressed by the weird lady's gush about "the new Chicken Half-Pounder". He took off the paper wrapped around his head and discarded the odd stick.

He changed the channel to and a bunch of people were playing loud music. The baby and the dog loved it.

The sound of pure metal drowned out the distant, panicking (and inevitable) screams of the adults.

* * *

**CONTINUED**


	4. 4: The Big Kid, Angelica

**_EPISODE 4:_** **_The Big Kid, Angelica _**

* * *

**SETTING:**

_One day after "Tommy Pickles and the Great White Thing" _

* * *

*KZZHT*

_"Pork chops… and applesauce!"_

*KZZHT*

_"Here he comes! Here comes Speed Racer! He's a demon on wheels!"_

*KZZHT*

_"And here's your host — Drew Carey!"_

*KZZHT*

_"…but his bosses didn't like him so they shot him into space!"_

*KZZHT*

_"Berrr-wyn?" "The name is _Kerwyn _and—!"_

*KZZHT*

_"…and try our new Chicken Half-Pounder! It's more chickeny and for a limited time—!"_

*KZZHT*

_ Tons of fun! A beautiful heart! _

*KZZHT*

_"They're eating her… and then they're going to eat me! Oh my Goooo—!"_

*KZZHT*

_"Cut! It's Basil Bitterbottom, you cantankerous crocodile!"_

Myr advanced toward his mistress. He found Rem sitting on the circular couch that was in front of the monitor that was built into the wall. She was leaning forward, eyes fixed on the screen; every few seconds, the Tomina began to change whatever was displayed on the screen to something else. "Mistress Tlamid," said the robot. "Might I ask what you are doing?"

"This morning, I managed to modify the T-6 transceiver," Rem explained. "Now I'm picking up transmissions from Xiemdioru. I'm cycling through them right now. Seems my hypothesis was a bust!"

"What do you mean?" asked the robot.

"When I saw the probe's footage of that box," she said "I thought that smaller aliens were imprisoned in there and were being forced to provide entertainment for the larger ones. From what I can tell, these are pre-recorded; some of the ones I saw looked like a bunch of drawings."

"On the subjects of aliens, may I ask what all happened last night on your excursion?"

"Well, believe it or else," said Rem "I saw one of the natives from a fairly close distance. It was slightly shorter than me and bald and it was mucking around with this white chair. What happened next… I can barely describe what happened. It was just madness! Bubbles and water were everywhere, this strange animal walked in, it was just… UGH!"

The robot didn't say a word.

"Though from what I saw," she continued "the alien wasn't all there in terms of physical skills."

"What is our next move, ma'am?" asked Myr.

"Well, we're not going back to the _Galaxian_," Rem said. "I can tell you that. What we _are_ going to do is get closer to the aliens."

"But by what manner will you pull it off?"

The young Tomina smirked. "You know about your PROXY mode, right?"

* * *

The adults were still reeling from events from the previous night, even though the mess in the bathroom was cleared up. They found Tommy downstairs watching, perhaps, the rare phenomenon of a music video being played on MTV. They were just as baffled as to how he got out of his crib; if anything, it seemed like a probable cause for last night's disaster.

Being a baby, of course, Tommy was immune to any flak that could have come his way if he were older. If his friend Chuckie were around at the time, he would have called the escapade a bad idea from the get-go; yet Tommy would have gone through with it, regardless.

Despite (barely) managing to survive his hazardous mission, the toddler still didn't have a clear answer to what that great, white thing was.

Didi took Tommy to the park; Betty Deville had come out there with her twins.

While the two adults talked over on the bench, the three babies held a meeting of their own in the sandbox. They had old business to take care of.

"Hey, Tommy," said Phil "Did you find out what that thing was you were talkin' 'bout yesterday?"

"I still don't know what it is," Tommy admitted. "I went in there to find out. It didn't talk to me, but it had a hole in it… and there was another me inside!"

"Really?" the two said at once.

"I still don't know what it is," he went on. "But Spike drunk out of it when he came in."

Phil, upon hearing this, turned to his sister, put on a smug expression, and stuck his tongue out.

Lil, insulted, squeezed her eyes shut and stuck hers out at Phil.

"What are you babies talkin' about?"

This very familiar voice caused the threesome's blood to chill. They turned to see _her._

Three years old. Blond pigtails. Polka-dot pants. Purple dress with matching tennis shoes. Taller than them. A dirty look on her face. This was Tommy's older cousin: Angelica Charlotte Pickles.

"Um… Hey Angelica," Tommy said nervously. "What're you doing here?"

"Wouldn't _you_ like to know?" she said in an acidic tone. "Now tell me: what were you babies blabberin' about?"

Tommy hesitated to answer. Angelica was a **very **intimidating kid.

Angelica stepped inside the sandbox. She towered over her cousin and fixed her gaze on him like a predatory cat.

"Y-Y-You know that room upstairs where the grown-ups give me baffs?" asked Tommy. "There's this big, white thing in there. I wanted to know what it was."

"Lillian thought it was a fish bowl when I knew it was a dog dish the whole time!" said Phil.

"I'm tellin' you something was swimming in it, Philip!" Lil shot back.

Angelica brought her hand to her forehead. "You stupid babies! It's not a dog dish, it's a potty!"

"A **_WHAT!?_**" the babies shouted in unison.

"It's a chair that the grown-ups use!" Angelica told them "Dumb little babies like you can't sit on it!"

"How do you know that?" asked Tommy.

"Because _I_ use it!" Angelica said, as-a-matter-of-factly.

"What do you use it for?" asked Lil.

Angelica smiled and said "I didn't hear you." The bigger girl turned around, folded her arms, and walked away.

Tommy spoke up to his cousin. "Angelica," he said "Lil said she—!"

"I know what she said," Angelica interrupted. "I just didn't hear her." She didn't even face the babies when she said that.

Then, she was gone.

**CONTINUED**


	5. A Fateful Encounter

**_EPISODE 5:_** **_A Fateful Encounter _**

* * *

**SETTING:**

_Between "Tommy Pickles and the Great White Thing" and "Tommy's First Birthday"_

* * *

A little girl stood on top of a big, metal slide a few yards away from a sandbox. She had peachy skin, long green hair, and wore a pink shirt with denim overalls.

She watched as these small kids sat around in the sand and talked to each other; they were discussing something about a "big, white thing". Then this bigger child came up and talked to them, in what seemed to be a more threatening manner. But as quickly as the girl came, she left in the same manner. If she got anything from watching the exchange, it was that the white thing in question was called a "potty".

Reaching into the big pocket on the front of her overalls and pulled out what looked like a square compact mirror. She flipped it open and pushed a button. "Do you read me?" she asked.

_"Yes, ma'am,"_ said the voice on the other end. _"Is your camouflage system working?"_

"Perfectly," the child responded. "The natives aren't onto me at all! I do have a couple of developments, though."

_"Explain."_

"Remember the probe's recording of that blond creature from a few nights back?" she said. "She was here."

"_'She'? You can confirm the sex of the being?"_

"It was definitely a girl," she confirmed. "What's more, I have come across the alien child that I observed last night during recon."

_"Are you sure?"_

She nodded. "Yes. The only thing is he's wearing a blue shirt instead of an orange one and—!"

"Hey! Are you gonna go or what?"

The girl looked behind her to see a little boy staring at her with an impatient look on his face.

"I need to go," she said. "I'll come back to camp in a bit. I'm going to take a look around."

_"Yes, ma'am." _The transmission ended.

After hanging up, the girl slid down the slide on her belly with her arms out. As she neared the bottom, she pressed down hard on the chute and flipped. As she was airborne, she brought her body into a cannonball and spun around once before landing on her feet. She turned back to the slide and called out "All yours!" to the boy who was behind her.

The little boy was at a loss for words. He couldn't believe that he just saw something like that.

* * *

Tommy and the twins got absolutely nothing out of Angelica apart from the white object's name. Right now, they were just going to bury the subject and probably come back to it later.

The bald toddler was focused on digging in the sand and just barely glanced at a green-haired kid in blue overalls wandering around. When he tried to find her again, she was gone. He looked around to try to find her. He could only find his and Phil and Lil's mothers talking to his Uncle Drew; obviously, he was the one who brought Angelica over. No sign of the little girl.

"What's a matter, Tommy?" Phil asked.

"Um, nuthin'," he replied. "Just thought I saw somebody."

"Who?" asked Lil.

"I dunno," Tommy answered "but whoever it was seemed to disa—HUH?"

Something, or rather someone, landed in the sandbox. Her impact kicked up a small cloud of sand.

"Um, never mind," said Tommy, a bit shocked.

"Sorry about that," the strange girl apologized. "I think I overshot my jump. Are you guys okay?"

"I'm okay. You?" asked Tommy.

"Yeah," she responded. She scooped up some of the sand and let it sift through her fingers. "Is this… sand?"

The three babies stared for a second and then looked at each other. "She doesn't know about sand?" asked Phil.

"I don't think I've seen this kind of stuff for the longest time," she answered.

"A baby that's never seen sand?" Lil said.

"There's somethin' messed up about a baby who's never played in a sandbox," Phil replied.

"I'm sorry," said the girl. "Where I come from we don't have this kind of stuff. Who are you guys? My name's Rem."

"I'm Tommy and these are my friends, Phil and Lil," he said. Then, the little boy felt something flick against his right ear. He turned around to see that his cousin had come back. "…and this is Angelica."

"What's this?" Angelica said "Another stinky baby?"

_Babies? _Rem thought. _These are Xiemdioru babies? _This "Angelica" kid only looked a little bit older than the others, but Rem had to ask: "But aren't you a baby?"

Tommy and the twins gasped in fear.

Angelica glared at the stranger and growled. "What did you say?"

"Well, you're only a little bigger than us," Rem explained. "You have to be a baby or at least used to be one."

There was silence for a moment. Then Angelica started laughing greatly.

"Why are you laughing?" Rem asked.

"I was never a dumb little baby like _them_!" the blond girl bellowed. "I was just a littler big girl!"

"Somehow, I don't believe that," Rem grumbled under her breath.

Angelica walked up in front of Rem. "So where did _you_ come from?" she asked.

Rem folded her arms and smiled. "Classified."

Angelica began to crack her knuckles. "I dunno where this 'Classified' joint is," she said in a cold voice "But remember: I call the shots 'round here!"

"Angelica! We're going!" somebody called.

"Just be happy I didn't give you a knuckle sandwich for your 'baby' remark," Angelica told her. Then her tone changed to a more pleasant one. "Coming Daddy!" Then she was gone once more.

"She always that charming?" asked Rem.

"You shoulda seen 'er when we put 'er Cynthia Greenhouse in the bafftub," Phil quipped.

"So where is this 'Class'fied' place, Rem?" asked Tommy.

"It's not a place," said Rem "it just means I can't tell anybody or else I'd get in big trouble."

"Not even us?" asked Phil.

"Not even you guys," she confirmed. Rem began to walk away.

"Hey, wait!" Tommy called "D'you wanna play with us?"

"Play?" said Rem.

"Sure, with us!"

Rem paused for a moment. She already a little old for baby games, yet she the mission to think about. Maybe these kids knew some stuff? Maybe pretending to be like them would beneficial to her research? "Okay!" She got back into the sandbox and joined the threesome.

* * *

**_CONTINUED_**


End file.
